Fighting The Beast Within You: The Nafs

You have been looking for answers, and this is the most important one.

“How do I control my nafs?”
“How do I stop this or that sin?”
“How do I strengthen my imaan?”

You’ll want to save and share this newsletter because it’s going to get deep. So please forgive me if this one is going to be a bit longer.

DISCLAIMER: This newsletter is based on a book that summarizes the works of Ibn Rajab Al-Hanbali, Ibn Al-Qayyim Al-Jauziyya, and Abu Hamid Al-Ghazali, written in German.

To help you navigate through, here are the bullet points of this newsletter:

Table of Contents

• What Is The Nafs Anyway?

• Which Type of Heart Do I Have?

• Building Your Love for Allah

• Fear of Allah

• Tawba - The Regret of Sinning

• Closing Thoughts

What Is The Nafs Anyway?

Before we start, there is one thing you need to know: fighting your nafs is a lifelong journey.

And I think that’s a harsh truth we have to accept. See your life as a journey toward Allah (SWT). Imagine yourself on a pathway.

The path is filled with ups and downs. You see potholes in the ground; other times, the path is easy to walk on. Along the way, you meet some people. Some look friendly, others dreadful. Some of them you even recognize from the beginning of your path. And at the far end of this path is death.

And death is the beginning of our true life.

Having said that, remember throughout this letter one thing: you will get better as long as you stay committed. You will see Allah's baraka in your life as long as you sacrifice for Him. You will see results as long as you put in the work.

As you see, you have to put in the work, which means fighting against that nafs.

Let me tell you what that nafs even is.

Your nafs is roughly translated to “ego,” but it also includes your psyche. It is basically that inner voice or feeling that tells you to eat one more spoon of Nutella, watch five more minutes of that movie, or even wait two more minutes before standing up to pray.

Sounds familiar, right?

The trick to differentiating between the waswas (whisper) of your nafs and that of Shaytan is by the characteristics of both.

Nafs is usually characterized as something that repeatedly tells you to commit a certain sin—something you struggle with.

For some, it’s wasting time; for others, it’s movies, and for some, it’s missing salah. There are different levels because we are all different human beings—and that’s normal.

Shaytan usually comes from every angle, trying everything to mislead you. But he also knows you better than you know yourself, so he whispers even more when you struggle with a certain sin.

The nafs is your inner self, driving natural desires and inclinations, while Shaytan is an external force that exploits those weaknesses.

The nafs tempts you persistently toward comfort and self-gratification, whereas Shaytan uses whispers (waswas) to deceive and sow doubt.

The nafs leads to habitual sins aligned with your tendencies, while Shaytan amplifies them and encourages rebellion against Allah (SWT).

Taming the nafs is a lifelong journey, while resisting Shaytan requires vigilance against his fleeting but cunning attacks.

The Qur'an describes different states of the nafs:

1. Nafs al-Ammarah (the commanding nafs, inclined toward evil)

2. Nafs al-Lawwamah (the self-reproaching nafs)

3. Nafs al-Mutmainnah (the tranquil nafs).

This progression shows that the nafs can be reformed.

Which Type of Heart Do I Have?

In Islam, we differentiate three types of hearts:

• The Dead Heart

• The Sick Heart

• The Healthy Heart

The Dead Heart

This is the worst of all. Having a dead heart means that the person bearing that heart neither knows its Master nor worships Him. This heart doesn’t recognize its purpose in life or what its Master has commanded and prohibited.

The master of such a heart is its own lusts and desires. Love and hate, actions and inactions are all dictated by its whims and state of mind—no rules, no shame.

Its lusts are its iman, and its desires guide it.

Just like an animal or a primate, its only concerns are worldly, and its wishes revolve solely around itself.

Today’s "isms" (liberalism, atheism, feminism, etc.) are driven by this type of heart—except for those whom Allah has decreed otherwise.

The nafs of these people thrives within these ideologies. Why? Let me explain:

• You don’t want to worship Allah? No worries! Atheism is the answer.

• You don’t want marriage and all the allegedly "sick" and "misogynistic" rules that come with it? No worries! Feminism is the answer.

• You want to be "free"? No rules, just vibes? No worries! That’s liberalism.

These are what we call dalal—paths of misguidance.

Future letters will dive deeper into these topics—I’m already excited! You’ll be shocked at how much we, as Muslims, have unknowingly internalized from these "isms."

The Healthy Heart

This is the heart we all want, the one some strive to earn, and the one Abu Bakr (RA) possessed.

This ayah comes to mind:

A healthy heart is clean, tidy, and beautiful. It desires nothing except to follow Allah's commands and please Him.

• No desire except to enter His Gardens.

• It never questions Allah’s decree or rules; it simply hears and obeys: Sami‘na wa ata‘na (We hear and obey).

• It loves for Allah, hates for Allah, decides for Allah, gives for Allah, withholds for Allah, speaks on behalf of Allah, and believes whatever Allah and His Messenger ﷺ say.

They follow this ayah:

We all want this heart, and we should all strive for it.

Feeling discouraged because you think you can’t attain this heart?

You’re wrong. You can. The goal is to work for it and to prevent one thing: the Sick Heart.

The Sick Heart

The sick heart is somewhere between the healthy and dead heart. It contains both sickness and health.

Whichever one you feed will overpower the other.

• It has love, commitment, obedience, and worship towards Allah—that’s the healthy part.

• But it also has lust and desires—and actively chases them.

This heart is also prone to ujb (self-admiration), which can lead to its own destruction.

Two callers live within it: one pulling toward Jannah and the other toward Jahannam.

The choice is yours: feed it with what is khayr and good, and abstain from what is bad.

Which leads us to the next point...

Building Your Love for Allah

Before we dive deeper, let’s talk a little bit about love.

Why do we talk about loving Allah? Why is it that we should build it? How is love built, anyway?

I want to ask you this: In a healthy relationship with your spouse, don’t you have to invest time, energy, and patience for love to be built?
Don’t experts talk about sacrifice when discussing love?

Didn’t the Prophet ﷺ teach us these exact lessons 1400 years ago?

To Allah belongs the highest example.

Love is built. And so is your relationship with Allah. And that is a lifelong journey.

Love is the highest form of commitment. We love the Prophet ﷺ, we commit to his sunnah. And if we truly love Allah, we would commit to His Book and Deen—may Allah forgive us.

But what is the solution? How can we clean that dirty heart of ours? Isn’t it a huge goal?

Let me tell you that the solution is building your relationship with Allah. You strengthen your imaan by building your relationship with Him. Why?

If you want to love only for Allah, you need to know what He loves.
If you want to hate only for Allah, you need to know what He hates.
If you want to decide only for Allah, you need to know what He wants.

It’s a simple equation, and to not torture you further, let me tell you that Allah does not expect much from you.

Allah wants to see that you give your best. That you try:

Building your relationship, and therefore your love for Allah, requires worship.

Expected something more complicated? It’s not.

In fact, worship is the highest form of love.

That’s why Allah says in the Quran:

People often love things or people rather than Allah and His Prophet ﷺ.

Whatever takes over your heart, whatever you think about first thing in the morning, whatever you are genuinely worried about—that is your Rabb (Master), and thus, that is what you worship.

When you worship Allah, you commit to His boundaries. You commit to whatever He has decreed. You commit to learning who He is and what He teaches.

Because you start knowing. Knowing that He is your goal. One goal: the pleasure of Allah. But knowing requires learning.

This quote by Abdullah Ibn-Mubarak is enough to end this chapter with:

"You are disobedient to Allah, yet you claim that you love Him. By Allah, such behavior is utterly reprehensible. You would have obeyed Him if you truly loved Him, for the lover is always obedient to the beloved."

Fear of Allah

If there is one thing that goes hand in hand with love towards Allah, it’s fear.

Let me explain.

If we only had a love-relationship with Allah, thinking that He is always merciful and kind, we would not understand that actions have consequences.

This relationship, which Allah describes in the Quran in several places, is truly remarkable:

Islam is about balance, and so should our struggle with our nafs be.

Because He tells you that as long as you stay within the boundaries, omit the big sins, He will overlook (forgive) your small sins.

This is not a threat from Allah. This is a warning signal that He is the most merciful, the All-kind, and the Most-wise. But if there are people who overstep, He will be enraged.

Think about how our ummah is being targeted around the world. Wallahi, it is so incredibly soothing to know that Allah is the most just, and He will judge them fairly.

One dua I have learned, which I love and find really profound, is to ask Allah for His mercy towards us on the Day of Judgment.

It is true that Allah will be incredibly enraged on the Day of Judgment, but He has kept 99% of His mercy for that day too.

Fear Him by omitting the things He has prohibited, because they are never meant to harm you. They are meant for your protection. Remember that.

Tawba - The Regret of Sinning

I have no idea why people are so hard on themselves when it comes to tawba, when even Allah said:

What does that mean? Let’s say you have just sinned.

Is that bad? Yes.
Did you just commit an injustice towards yourself? Yes.

What now?

Admit that it was a sin, don’t deny it. Be humble.

Say Astaghfirullah (I seek forgiveness from Allah). If you can, make wudu and pray 2 raka'ah of forgiveness.

Make a deep promise to Allah that you will NEVER return to this sin.

Even if you think you might, even if you return: Make this covenant with Allah.
Ask Him to help you. Sincerely try to avoid the sin. Really try as hard as you can.

Whatever comes after that, you take the steps above again. And again.
I don’t care how many times you sin. The only thing you need to keep in mind is:

Return to Allah over and over again.

Make it impossible for you to even think of that sin.

Consistently ask for forgiveness.

After every Salah, in every dua, every time you think about it, ask Allah for forgiveness.
Genuinely and sincerely regret it.

Move on. That is tawba.

How?

• Daily dhikr

• Daily dua

• Constant reflection

Don’t overwork yourself. Allah made it easy, so keep it easy. Our deen is yusr (ease), not 'usr (difficulty).

Do what the Prophet ﷺ did:

"Oh people, turn to Allah in repentance and seek His forgiveness. By Allah, I turn to Him in repentance more than 70 times a day."

Closing Thoughts

Educating our nafs (self) is a lifelong journey. It does not stop except when we die.

Because we will be constantly exposed to things that tempt us, this is what we were created for:

Your real home is not this life. Your real home is Jannah.

Here is a quote by our beloved Prophet ﷺ that I genuinely love, and it says:

Expensive… And we all know how much work we have to put in to get something expensive. And when something is expensive, you cherish it more, don’t you?

One thing that I also heard the other day, which I want to add to this letter, is: This life is not described as a struggle by Allah, but as a test.

And just like in any other test, it requires us to study, give our best, keep within the boundaries of the rules on how to take the test and how to pass it, and finally get an A as a reward.

Only when we go to the teacher to hand him our finished test do we get to look into the answers, and after a little wait, see if we passed or not.

And finding out if we passed the test of this life is really only one lifetime away.

That’s all for today. Stay tuned for future letters that dive deeper into each topic, in shaa Allah. I really hope that this one helped you figure some things out.

Definitely let me know your thoughts on Instagram—I would love to hear them!

For now, I leave you
في امان الله _{(In the protection of Allah)}

❦ Dunja ❦