The Myth of Women's Rights & "Feminism"

What is the first thing that comes to mind when thinking about feminism?

Women’s rights.

The rights of the abused woman.
The rights of the oppressed woman.

She is not only physically abused but mentally as well. This is also why she regrets being dependent on him: his money, his love, and his protection.

Family doesn’t usually help. Worst case scenario, culture adds even more burdens onto the shoulders of the abused woman, putting her at fault.

“We don’t divorce!”
“Stay with him for your children.”
“Have sabr.”

I am not talking about a difficult marriage. Or even one where the husband might be aggressive or not as loving as the wife wishes him to be—that’s another topic.

I am talking about abuse:

“Any action that intentionally harms or injures another person physically, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually, or exploits them unfairly.” (WHO; APA).

This is why many women come to believe they must provide for themselves, avoid being dependent on a man, and ultimately: become a boss-lady.

Let’s dive deep.

The Origins of Feminism

I was once among those described above, thinking feminism rescues women from the shackles of men. It empowers her to become her own boss, provider, and protector.

It feels like a burden has been lifted: it’s finally about her and not him.
Showtime for women, not men.

But 2-3 years ago, I realized how wrong I was to think that way.
I discovered how unfair feminism actually is and why, as Muslims, we should never hold feminism in high regard.

Alhamdulillah, I was never a hardcore feminist, but even I still fight some of the brainwashing the West instilled in me.

I feel its remnants to this very day, and I wasn’t even deeply immersed in this ideology.

_{DISCLAIMER:
The next analysis is based on the book The Modernist Menace to Islam by Daniel Haqiqatjou. I highly recommend giving it a read!}

There are several waves of feminism. What they all have in common, however, is the very core of their ideology: anti-religion and anti-family.

These two “concepts” were portrayed as tools of oppression, denying women rights and exploiting their bodies for the “pure pleasure of men.”

Feminism became even worse and more extreme with the second and third waves. What became more prominent was its growing hatred toward religion and the rules, regulations, and obligations that come with it.

Susan Shaw, a professor of Women, Gender, and Sexuality Studies, even argues that religion itself is patriarchal and that gender-role problems are rooted in religion.

At its heart, feminism is about equality—being equal to men in literally everything.

The Impact on Muslim Women

Feminism is, in fact, a significant reason why many Muslim women leave Islam. If you examine the arguments of so-called "ex-Muslims," you’ll often find typical feminist rhetoric. I’ve had my own discussions with one under a thread I posted.

Of course, these arguments usually crumble when confronted with reality, but that’s beside the point.

I can’t dive too deeply into this in one newsletter—you’d be reading for hours.

But I’ll leave you with this reflection:

Find your strength in Allah and the message He sent.
Let go of any ideology brought forth by the West—or humanity at large—that doesn’t align 100% with Islamic principles.

Feminism is man-made. Are we seriously going to judge Islam by something random white people made up?

I also loved the article Confessions of a Muslim Ex-Feminist by Umm Khalid, the wife of Brother Daniel. You can read it here. Don’t miss out on their insightful work!

It beautifully describes what it feels like to live in the feminist bubble—and how it feels to finally wake up.

My own realization shook my world.

What Feminism Taught Us

Feminism introduced ideas like:

• Work for yourself.

• Provide for yourself.

• Love yourself.

It’s all about you and yourself.

But Allah did not ordain this. Allah gave us clear-cut gender roles, and they were never a problem until some white women—and men—decided to make it one.

The man is the provider. That’s a fact. But as his wife, you also have obligations.

Look at social media today—women are proudly embracing their roles as stay-at-home moms or even as “stay-at-home girlfriends.” Women are returning to their nature.

But there’s one challenge: obligations.

You also provide, but in a different way. And this is where many women struggle.

When they learn about their role—being available to their husband when he calls her to bed, providing food, or maintaining the household—they resist.

But let’s be honest: that’s only fair. I wouldn’t want to live the life of a man.

He’s not just the provider—he has to endure the worst of people, protect his family, maintain a healthy relationship, and resist the constant fitna of the outside world.

Take a moment and think about that. Working women know what I’m talking about.
I mean the ones who are genuinely trying their best to provide and care for their families.

Put yourself in their shoes for a second. Can’t you set aside your pride and make him feel at home, secure, and at peace—at least in his own home?

Islam is built on complementarity, not competition.

Yet feminism convinced us otherwise, eroding the family structure in Muslim households.

Of course, none of this absolves men of their responsibility to treat their wives with kindness and compassion. As Allah says in the Quran, marriage is built on love and mercy: مودة ورحمة

Islam Honored Women Long Before Feminism

Islam recognized and elevated women’s status long before feminist ideologies even emerged:

• Hijab: Mandated for their dignity and protection.

• Provision: A right granted to women, while Western women are still fighting for basic recognition. Just look at the “stay-at-home-girlfriend” trend.

• Motherhood: Elevated as an honor, not a burden.

• Roles: Islam values women as daughters, wives, and mothers, assigning unique and complementary responsibilities to both genders.

Yet, the very West many Muslim women lean toward has not only exploited them—their energy, their time, and their devotion to Allah—but also brainwashed them into believing it wants the best for them.

Have we forgotten the reality?

This is the same West that normalizes, and has been normalizing, the ongoing genocide of Palestinians.

Have we truly forgotten that?

What some girls argue is that it’s okay because it stands for women’s rights. Wrong.

It stands for women and women only, at its core they want to question gender in general and religion because in their eyes, religion oppresses women. They are trying to put their views above the commands of Allah and that’s where the problem lies.

I had a friend telling me how a feminist in her class thought it’s unfair for women to be burdened with carrying children and that men have been lifted from that struggle.

Seriously?

Well yeah, that’s the stage they have reached and there is more.

May Allah guide them and keep us steadfast and protect us from such delusions.

The Destruction of Families

The root cause? Pride. Not the alphabet kind—that’s another topic entirely—but the inflated sense of self feminism has instilled in many women today.

Women deeply influenced by feminism often become arrogant and entitled, believing the world revolves around them. But no, you’re not the boss.

Allah SWT made the man the leader of the household.
Does that mean he can boss you around without reason, mistreat you, or make you suffer? Absolutely not. This is not about abusive relationships, as I’ve emphasized repeatedly.

When I studied the rights of husbands and wives, I learned three things:

1. I have an ego (nafs) to work on.

2. Men are given their status because of their immense responsibilities.

3. Many women genuinely need to trust and fear Allah more.

Your husband is your companion, not your competition.

Allah has assigned complementary roles to men and women to uphold and sustain society. Feminism, however, teaches self-centeredness—making everything about “you” and disregarding others.

Extreme Behavior and Its Consequences

Let’s be clear: There is nothing wrong with wanting to make your spouse happy. In fact, our deen encourages us to live with mawaddah (kindness) and rahmah (compassion). But we’re addressing the extremes for now:

• Men acting as dayooths on social media, showcasing their wives in tabarruj.

• Women becoming entitled and neglecting the family structure entirely.

Family is the cornerstone of our ummah. Reviving this ummah means:

1. Spreading the word of Allah.

2. Working on ourselves to become better Muslims.

3. Bearing children.

When we improve ourselves, the ripple effect shows in our families, societies, and beyond—until we collectively transform humanity.

Relearn Your Purpose

We’ve lost sight of the very reason for our creation: to worship Allah and please our Creator.

This means following His rules, even when they’re difficult or uncomfortable. That’s why it’s called jihad—striving in the way of Allah.

For wives, pleasing your husband and fulfilling your obligations can earn you entry into Jannah through any gate you choose. Isn’t Jannah our ultimate goal?

If so, why don’t we act accordingly?

Feminism Sells False Promises

1. False hope: That career success equals fulfillment.

2. False standards: That equality means sameness in all things.

3. False impressions of men: Portraying them as oppressors rather than protectors.

The result? Women are overwhelmed, burdened with societal and familial responsibilities, chasing ideals that were never meant to serve them.

Women are exhausted. Why do you think trends like “stay-at-home girlfriend” are becoming so popular? Women are not built to hustle and grind like men.

You Are Not Alone

As I said, I’m still fighting my nafs when it comes to feminism. Recently, I attended a fiqh class about marriage and the obligations of a wife.

Let me be honest—I was triggered. Multiple times.

I even texted a friend, venting about my thoughts and inner struggles. Her response?

"Respectfully, work on your ego."

And she was right. The nafs is the problem. It’s a battle we all face, and we need to fight this beast within ourselves.

In the next newsletter, I’ll dive deeper into practical steps to combat the nafs, in shaa Allah.

What are your thoughts on this topic? Do you agree or disagree? Why? I’d love to hear your point of view—message me on Instagram and let’s discuss!

Until then, I leave you

في امان الله _{(in the protection of Allah)}

❦ Dunja ❦