What They Don’t Teach You About Beauty!

Okay, hear me out.

I wasn’t sure how to start this newsletter because beauty is a topic with so many facades.

We could be talking about beauty standards.
We could be talking about how we beautify ourselves in a halal way.
Or we could be criticising the standards we live under when it comes to beauty.

And then, we could do it all in one.

Let’s dig deep.

Beauty Standards

No era was safe from beauty standards. And in every era, there was some girl who just didn’t feel seen or appreciated when it came to her looks.

After all, beauty almost got Snow White killed and enraged a jealous queen.

But what is beauty anyway?

During the era of Antiquity, around 500 BCE to 500 CE, the beauty standards in Greece and Rome were all about symmetry, balanced proportions, and harmony (think: the Golden Ratio).

Symbols of beauty included:

• Smooth, flawless skin

• Idealized body shapes (muscular and athletic for men, slender and feminine for women)

• Natural beauty without excessive makeup or jewelry

• Statues like the Venus de Milo that show ideal body forms and calm facial expressions

Beauty was seen as a reflection of virtue and inner harmony.

Then came the Renaissance (1400–1600), spreading a very different ideal across Europe:

• Pale, almost translucent skin as a sign of nobility (sun exposure was avoided)

• Plump, curvy body shapes (well-nourished = wealth)

• Rosy cheeks and lips as signs of health

• High foreheads, sometimes achieved by plucking the hairline

• Natural eyebrows, with subtle makeup

Beauty symbolized both status and health—art merged with ideals.

Fast forward to the 1920s in the Western world:

• Slim, almost boyish figures (think “Flapper girls”)

• Short hair, often bob cuts

• Subtle makeup with an emphasis on the eyes

• Clothing that symbolized freedom of movement

This era marked a break from traditional gender roles. It was about modernity, rebellion, and redefining the image of women.

And today? The 21st century claims to celebrate diversity and individuality.

But does it really?

Because of social media, certain beauty standards are pushed—and others are not.

At the same time, you will see growing appreciation for people with less conventional beauty traits.

Today’s beauty symbols:

• Variety in body shapes, skin tones, hairstyles, and makeup styles

• Emphasis on individuality, self-acceptance, and empowerment

• Social media driving trends from natural to highly stylized looks

• A focus on fitness and health, but also niches: curvy, athletic, minimalist

Yes, we hear about inclusion and self-determination—but we also see commercialization and pressure dressed up as freedom.

You know what this list is missing?

The Islamic view.

Because all of these eras have one thing in common: they change.

They are random.

They are specific to their time.

To me, this just shows how society shifts swiftly and unpredictably.

And in a world of randomness, you need a constant—something you can rely on without fearing you’ll disappear or go unseen.

While the 21st century claims to celebrate individuality, someone else did that long before.

You know who?

Beauty During the Pre-Islamic Era

From what I have researched online and what we generally know about that era, I asked ChatGPT to summarize the most important points:

• Emphasis on physical strength and tribal pride:
  Beauty was often linked to traits like courage, strength, and physical fitness—important for survival and tribal defense.

• Elaborate adornment and cosmetics:
  Women used kohl (eyeliner) to darken their eyes, henna to dye their hair and decorate their hands, and scented oils.

• Long hair and grooming:
  Long, well-kept hair was admired. Both men and women took pride in their appearance and used perfumes and adornments.

• Tattooing and body art:
  Some tribes practiced tattooing or other body decorations as marks of beauty or status.

• Pride in teeth and smile:
  People often chewed aromatic herbs and used teeth whitening methods. A bright smile was considered attractive.

So yeah, the pre-Islamic era—just like any era—was not spared from beauty standards. However, I feel their standards seem the most natural compared to others.

What Islam Changed About Beauty

As we’ve discussed in previous newsletters, the Quran is exceptionally bold when it comes to challenging the norm.

While it challenged many views held by the Arabs, it significantly changed how people should see women.

Unfortunately, we have fallen into some of the traps of the West and literally destroyed ourselves from within.

With Islam, the focus shifted from outward to inward beauty—but always in balance.

It taught enhancing your natural beauty while maintaining modesty. This is shown in the teachings of the Prophet:

• Avoiding extravagance in adornment to prevent arrogance or showing off

• Women are allowed to wear henna or earrings and adorn themselves within boundaries—not performing tabarruj (excessive, showy display)

With the incredible emphasis on tahara (cleanliness), regular grooming like trimming nails, cleaning teeth (using the miswak), bathing regularly, and caring for hair were considered the most important beauty “hacks,” all while avoiding overindulgence.

Yet, true beauty is always within.

Notice the perfect balance Islam maintains even in beauty; but Allah and His Messenger always emphasize inner qualities above all.

There is so much beauty in building your character—because your character will show on your face and make people love you even more.

Of course, this is not for the sake of people, but as human beings, we naturally like to be liked and appreciated by others.

Which is why, in marriage, the Prophet encouraged seeing your future spouse to know if you like them or not. Physical attraction goes hand in hand, but the deen (faith) is more important.

Al-Mughirah ibn Shu'bah (may Allah be pleased with him) said:

The Prophet ﷺ said:

I don’t know about you, but when I learned about the women of Islam—their qualities and how they were praised for their hearts—I never really knew who was known for their beauty and who wasn’t.

Here are a few of the hadiths I found:

But there were Sahabiyat who were not known for their beauty—Sawda bint Zam’a and Umm Salama were among them.

In summary: if Allah did not grant you physical beauty or exceptional looks, then you have been given something far more important: the opportunity to beautify your character.

Remember, this life is not the end. In fact, this dunya is a test—for the beautiful and the not-so-beautiful, for the strong and the weak, for the wealthy and the poor.

Your final form is in Jannah. Now that is truly worth fighting for.

Why the Hijab is Your Best Investment

We’ve already established that this life is a test—even when it comes to beauty.

Every gift you were given—or not given—is for one reason only: to test you.

Will you obey Allah or not? Will you help people or not?

This dunya is not forever. That’s why there will always be things you’re not happy about.

But this world is not about happiness—it’s about success.

I’m not talking about money or transactions here on earth, but about success in the akhira.

Think about it:

You give something up in this dunya for something greater in the akhira.

You give up alcohol for the pure, non-toxic rivers of Jannah.

You give up pork for all kinds of delicious meat in Jannah.

You give up showing off your beauty in this world to be the most perfect in Jannah.

There is always a price to pay for something valuable; Jannah is the most precious prize—yet you can attain it because Allah promises it.

When you think about it, everything you will gain in Jannah makes the tests here—hardships included—feel lighter.

The heat in summer while wearing your abaya.

The looks you get for wearing the niqab.

The insults you endure for wearing the hijab.

All of it adds to your good deeds because you stayed patient.

You endured this hardship because you know what’s coming is far better.

In fitness, they talk about perseverance—pushing through pain now because you expect something better later.

Only here, we’re talking about Jannah and Jahannam—escaping hellfire and entering Paradise forever.

Does the hijab still feel too far from you?

Does it still feel like too much?

Jannah is expensive, my dear sister.

Sacrificing for Allah is part of that price.

But there is no better transaction than trading hardship for Jannah.

And no worse transaction than trading ease for Jahannam.

The dunya will last at most 80 years; the afterlife will last forever.

Choose your pain wisely.

Since I know this topic is heavy, I’ll leave you with that for today.

Next week’s newsletter and future posts will focus on struggles many girls face when it comes to the hijab—like hair loss or makeup challenges.

I’m really excited about these two topics because I have a lot of great tips and resources to share with you, so you can, in shaa Allah, overcome these issues.

As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts on this!

Until then, Ill leave you

في امان الله _{(in the protection of Allah)}

❦ Dunja ❦