You Are Wasting Your Life Away Overthinking

Imagine yourself in ten years. Maybe you have kids of your own, or perhaps your kids have their own kids—getting married or starting their own lives.

Picture this: you're sitting at the dinner table, and one of the kids asks you, "Grandma, why didn’t you just do that thing you always talked about?"

And the only reason you can give is: "Because I overthought it."

It stings, doesn’t it?

That’s why we’re putting an end to this vicious cycle of overthinking—Shaytan’s favorite tool of torture.

What is overthinking?

A Harvard Business Review article by Melody Wilding outlines three main types of overthinking and practical ways to combat them:

1. Rumination: Dwelling on past events, which often leads to negative emotions and stress.
2. Worrying: Focusing on potential future problems, resulting in anxiety and indecision.
3. Perfectionism: Striving for flawlessness, causing delays and a fear of failure.

To counter these tendencies, the article suggests:

• Setting Time Limits: Allocate specific periods for reflection to avoid getting stuck in excessive rumination.

• Mindfulness Practices: Engage in mindfulness to stay present and reduce anxiety about the future.

• Embracing Imperfection: Accept that mistakes are part of growth to relieve the pressures of perfectionism.

Now, do you notice something? The solutions don’t tell you to avoid thinking altogether.

In fact, as humans, we should think, reflect, and draw conclusions during our tafakkur (contemplation). Thinking is a natural and necessary process.

The problem arises when it turns into a sickness—when we dwell in our thoughts without moving forward, letting it spiral into mere wishful thinking.

Allah addresses this issue in the Qur'an multiple times. Here are a few examples:

• "He [Satan] makes promises to them and fills them with false hopes. But Satan does not promise them except delusion." (Surah An-Nisa, 4:120)

• "...So whoever hopes for the meeting with his Lord, let him do righteous work and not associate anyone in the worship of his Lord." (Surah Al-Kahf, 18:110)

• "It will not be in accordance with your desires, nor the desires of the People of the Scripture. Whoever works evil will be recompensed accordingly..." (Surah An-Nisa, 4:123)

Let me break it down for you.

You Are Acting Against Your Fitrah

Islam’s very nature doesn’t align with overthinking or wishful thinking. Its teachings, morals, and foundational principles are the complete opposite.

Look at the lives of every prophet, peace be upon them. Didn’t they face massive challenges? Didn’t Allah place monumental tasks upon their shoulders—tasks like saving humanity from the pitfalls of Hellfire?

Yet, they never fell into overthinking. Why?

Because they trusted Allah. They had clarity about:

• Who Allah is

• Why they were sent

• That this life has an end

• And that the next life is the true home

With this understanding, their goal was crystal clear: do your part, give your utmost effort, and leave the rest to Allah.

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) perfectly encapsulated this balance when he said:

"Tie your camel first, and then rely upon Allah."
(Sunan At-Tirmidhi, Hadith 2517)

Living In The Past Like Shaytan Does

Rumination: Dwelling on past events, leading to negative emotions and stress.

"Be in this world as though you were a stranger or a traveler."
(Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 6416)

Look, this may sound difficult, but the past is gone. Whatever you did in the past stays there. You cannot change it. Is it possible you’re feeling the aftermath today? Yes. But does that mean you should dwell on it? No.

Think about it: What good has dwelling ever brought you? Has it made you move forward? Has it changed your life? Has it made you prettier, richer, or happier?

Whatever you are ruminating about, it doesn’t help. In fact, it increases your stress—and stress can even lead to death.

You are honored by Allah. You are His servant. The problems you’re facing are never a punishment, but a huge blessing that will bear rewards in the Hereafter.

No amount of stress in this dunya will prevent you from entering Jannah.

So, what are you ruminating about? You made a mistake?

Did you repent?
Did you sincerely promise Allah never to return to it?
Did you try your best?

Then you’re doing what every other Muslim is doing. We are all the same.

The only difference between you and the successful person is that they stopped dwelling and started acting. The only difference between you and the mentally strong person is that they get up after falling.

Your past does not define you. And neither did Adam’s.

But sheytan defines his whole life on the biggest mistake he ever did. He is cursed.

Don’t curse your life because of one mistake; You are not sheytan. 

Living In The Future and Forgetting Your Present

Worrying: Focusing on potential future problems, often resulting in anxiety and indecision.

Just like the past is not in your hands, neither is the future. But the good news is, you can influence it today. You can influence the answer to the question your potential grandkids or kids might one day ask you.

The future is in Allah’s hands. If we truly knew who Allah was, we would never worry about the future. I love this reel by Sister Saufiyah on Instagram, where she said:

“You relax on the plane, but you don’t know the flyer.
You relax in the bus, yet you don’t know the driver.
You relax on the train, yet you don’t know the conductor.
Then why don’t you relax right now, knowing Allah is the provider?”

I don’t think I need to say much more about this. The future is simply not in your hands. But what is in your hands is the present.

Which leads me to our next point...

The Never Ending Chase For Perfectionism

Perfectionism: Striving for flawlessness, causing delays and fear of failure.

You are not perfect. In fact, you will never come close to perfection as a human being. The only perfect being was the Prophet (pbuh).

So why are you chasing flawlessness? Why are you trying to be perfect, anyway?

Is it for people? Is it for fame? Is it to be seen?
Take a moment to analyze your thoughts and truly reflect on the why.

It’s not wrong to do your best or to want the best. Strive for it, and do what’s in your hands. But once you realize that perfectionism is delaying you, it’s time to consider putting an end to it—no matter how hard it might be.

And remember: with the help of Allah, everything is possible. The help of Allah is always near. So seek it.

Timeless Solutions

1. Setting Time Limits: Allocate specific periods for reflection to prevent excessive rumination.

I found this solution especially interesting. It aligns perfectly with a key teaching in Islam:

Tadabbur & Tafakkur.

Tadabbur refers to deep reflection on the Quran. You can practice this by following the tadabbur guide that I shared with you when you subscribed to this newsletter.

Tafakkur, on the other hand, is a more general form of reflection, where you think about the creation of Allah and the teachings of Islam—not just the Quran itself.

This is crucial in avoiding overthinking. Set yourself a time for deep thought. I remember seeing a German therapist on Instagram suggesting this as well, noting that having a designated time for overthinking helps delay it at other times.

Imagine you're studying and start to overthink. Instead of letting the thoughts take over, tell yourself, “I’ll think about this in an hour.”

It may sound strange, but it's incredibly practical. Give it a try!

2. Mindfulness Practices: Engage in mindfulness to stay present and reduce anxiety about the future.

The perfect Islamic practice for mindfulness is dhikr. I can’t stress enough how much dhikr transforms our lives. We all need to improve in this area.

Particularly, istighfar (seeking forgiveness) and salawat (sending blessings on the Prophet, pbuh) have immense benefits.

Here’s what they do:

• Make matters easier.

• Increase your wealth by removing your sins.

• Help you find solutions to problems more easily.

• The salawat you send upon the Prophet (pbuh) are heard by him, and Allah rewards you tenfold.

I once watched a video explaining the magnificence of dhikr. Dhikr isn’t just about uttering words—it must be intentional.

When you engage in dhikr, you shift the focus of your restless thoughts to your mouth. By intentionally doing dhikr, you ensure mindfulness in the moment.

3. Embracing Imperfection: Accept that mistakes are part of growth, which can alleviate the pressures of perfectionism.

The first human ever made a mistake—Adam. He had to leave paradise because of his sin. But was that the end?

No. He repented.

Aside from religious mistakes, it’s crucial to understand that mistakes are part of learning. The issue isn’t the mistake itself, but how you internalize it.

Mistakes do not define you. They are opportunities for growth, but you must learn to separate them from your identity.

That doesn’t mean you should stop working on yourself. Tazkiyah (spiritual purification) is an essential part of Islam. But don’t speak negatively about yourself.

So, what role does Shaytan (Satan) play in all of this?

Shaytan's Only Weapon: Whispering

Shaytan has no strength except for his whispers. That’s why your thoughts are so crucial; that’s why overthinking can be so dangerous.

We all experience it, but understanding that Shaytan’s power lies in these whispers should encourage you to strengthen your mind and heart.

If Shaytan’s only weapon is whispering, then it’s clear: we need to build a strong foundation to keep him away. But this doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a lifelong journey, and the effort you put into this struggle (jihad) is seen and rewarded by Allah.

What matters most is not how many whispers you endure, but the strength of your relationship with Allah. Don’t hand Shaytan the key to your heart. Instead, focus on fortifying the walls protecting your heart and preventing him from slipping through any cracks.

Imagine Your Heart as a Treasure:

Your heart is a treasure, surrounded by walls. These walls aren’t perfect—some cracks are bigger than others. But there’s a key, a golden key with five tethers.

The cracks in the walls are caused by sin, and the only way to lock them up is with the five-tethered key. And guess what? That key is your prayer.

Prayer is the shield that protects you. It keeps Shaytan away. Because when you pray, you’re allowing only Allah into your heart. If you let go of that connection with Allah, who else are you letting in?

Exactly. Shaytan.

Know Your Enemy:

Keep your friends close, but keep your enemy even closer. Understand Shaytan’s goal: his mission is to mislead us and take us down with him. But here’s the good news: you still have a chance. You can still win this battle.

You are the winner in this game. Shaytan’s already condemned to Hellfire, and he wants to take you with him. But you still have a chance. Take it.

What is Shaytan’s goal, and how does he promise to mislead us?

Stay tuned for the next newsletter, and insha’Allah, we’ll dive deeper into this.

We’ve Come to the End

I hope you found this newsletter helpful and that it gave you valuable insights into overcoming overthinking and strengthening your heart against Shaytan’s whispers.

Remember, this journey is lifelong, but every small step counts.

If this resonated with you or you think someone else could benefit, please consider sharing it. I’d also love to hear your thoughts—connect with me on Instagram and let me know what you think!

Until next time, may Allah guide and protect us all.

as always, I leave you

في امان الله ^{(in the protection of Allah)}

❦ Dunja ❦