You Don’t Have a Discipline Problem—You Have a Love Problem

Think about the last time you did something difficult.
Or maybe something you didn’t want to do, or maybe you just didn’t enjoy it.

Why did you do it?

Because you had to, or because you loved the idea of it…?

The idea of having a strong and healthy body after exercising.
The idea of having a healthy face and skin when eating clean.
The idea of being happy in a successful marriage.
The idea of being the devoted worshipper everyone seems to be.

Let me ask you this: do you think any of these are achieved by discipline?

Well technically, yes.

But there is a deeper level behind discipline that you might not have realized: conviction.

And may I add something that, in my opinion, goes with it?

Love.

What Love Does to The Brain

I had no idea what love does to our brain until I read about it in various studies. It’s safe to say that love is one of the most researched aspects of human interaction.

One article I came across suggested several profound and fascinating findings on the psychology of love that I found truly astonishing:

When you first fall in love, the areas of your brain responsible for basic survival instincts—like food and drink—are activated. Researchers suggest that this makes love one of the most fundamental human needs.

Seeing or thinking about a loved one releases dopamine, oxytocin, and adrenaline, but serotonin levels drop. Researchers believe this may explain why you start obsessing over small details, showing patterns similar to obsessive-compulsive behavior.

What we really want to understand is: what does love for Allah and His Prophet do to us? What does love outside of romantic relationships mean for us in this world and even in the akhira?

The article also notes that people experience love in other connections outside of romantic relationships—for example, the bond between mothers and their infants, or even between an owner and their dog.

Even more interestingly, engaging in hobbies or passions that you truly love can trigger similar effects in the brain.

Here are some finding online about spirituality and personal well-being:

Research indicates that spirituality and love are closely linked to improved mental health. Individuals with a strong connection to a higher power often express greater love and care for others, extending beyond close relationships to include a wider community. 

Interestingly, those who are spiritual but not religious also report higher mental well-being compared to atheists or agnostics who lack a sense of love or connection to others.

Studies have shown that perceiving one's relationship with God as loving and satisfying correlates with more frequent prayer and fewer mental health symptoms. 

In contrast, viewing God as judgmental or punitive is associated with increased mental health issues. This suggests that the emotional quality of one's spiritual relationship can significantly impact mental well-being.

Neuroscientific research has found that engaging in spiritual practices, such as prayer, can activate brain regions associated with reward and attention. 

For instance, studies involving Mormons have shown that spiritual feelings activate areas like the nucleus accumbens, which is also involved in the brain's response to pleasurable stimuli.

Why I think love and conviction go hand-in-hand

The reason you love the idea of exercise is because you are convinced that exercise will help you achieve a healthy, even good-looking body.

The reason you love the idea of eating clean is because you are convinced that it leads to better skin.

The reason you love the idea of a successful marriage is because you are convinced that it leads to happiness.

You see what happened there?

Love goes hand in hand with conviction.

Notice how I did not say: you love exercising, you love eating healthy, you love… well, actually, you might just love a successful marriage, I’ll give you that.

But even in worship, the most rewarded acts of worship are actually those that you don’t like. Yes, even in worship you are tested.

Reward is according to hardship:

Reward is in proportion to effort:

Best deeds are the most difficult for the nafs:

But it is fundamental, in order for you to take something seriously, to have these two things:

1. Love

2. Conviction

Conviction of Islam is the foundation for everything to work out.

Let me jump straight to the point: you need to convince yourself of Islam.

“But wait, I am convinced!”

Are you?

What is your first reaction when a calamity hits?

Is it “why me” or maybe it’s “khair in shaa Allah,” even “alhamdulillah”?

Depending on what reaction you have, that shows your conviction and love.

I’ll give you an example:

If your reaction is “why me,” you have the underlying conviction that you always deserve better.

You are convinced that this life is to be lived in every aspect, and that calamities are a punishment and therefore something that has a negative effect on your life.

You also love when life goes well and hate it when life hits you with its problems.

But when your reaction is one of the two latter ones, then your conviction is that this life is a test.

You are here with good and bad, and whatever happens— and I mean whatever— it is just a reflection of Allah’s plan for you.

And you are also convinced that problems are not punishment; they are a sign that Allah loves you.

And the underlying emotion behind this is love, in the best-case scenario.

Because you know that whatever happens to you comes from Allah, the Most Merciful, the Best of Planners, the Loving and Caring.

But if you don’t even know this Rabb, then how do you expect to love Him?

How Do We Attain Conviction?

Learn the basics of your religion:

Why is the Qur’an a miracle?

Start by researching and learning what the Qur’an claims about its own miracles, such as that “there is no doubt in it”, or that “no one can produce even a single ayah like it”.

Learn the proofs of prophethood and why our Prophet Muhammad was actually a prophet who performed miracles.

Conviction is the opposite of doubt. The more you remove doubtful thoughts and questions within you, the better your conviction will be, in shaa Allah.

There are many things you can be doubtful about, but before you address your questions: learn the religion you are practicing. What are the fundamentals?

And learning does not mean watching a 2-minute video. It means actually sitting down and spending real time on learning— from a book or even an online lecture.

Here are some recommendations:

Sources

1. The Muslim Lantern
The Muslim Lantern is a da’wah channel that primarily focuses on defending Islam, particularly against Christian missionary arguments and atheism.

They often create debates, reaction videos, and comparative religion content, using logical reasoning and direct refutations to engage viewers.

2. The Muslim skeptic
The Muslim Skeptic, run by Daniel Haqiqatjou, focuses on critiquing modern ideologies such as liberalism, feminism, secularism, and progressivism from an Islamic perspective.

His approach is bold, confrontational, and counter-mainstream, often addressing cultural and political issues in ways that challenge contemporary societal norms.

3. Sapience Institute
Sapience Institute, co-founded by Hamza Tzortzis, is an educational and da’wah institute that trains Muslims in intellectual da’wah, philosophy, and refutations of atheism.

Their content includes courses, webinars, and written resources, often delivered in a structured, academic, and evidence-based style.

I will leave you with this for now since it’s a very heavy topic and I would love to hear your thoughts on this!

As you might have heard I have started a Tadabbur test-group before the guides will be printed, in schaa allah!

Stay tuned and check your inbox since a lot of new content is finishing soon, bidnillah.

Until then, Ill leave you

في امان الله _{(in the protection of Allah)}

❦ Dunja ❦